


PAINT the World

by Aisene



Series: Sunrise [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Actually a semi-decent birthday party all things considered, Alphys ships Fontcest, Don't take any of this seriously, Features cameos, Frisk kinda does now too, Gen, Paintball is serious business, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, Reader is Frisk (Undertale), Sans is OP, Some people are too competitive, Team Spare Ribs versus Team Drama, Team Tiny Terrors vs Team Drama, Undertale Monsters on the Surface, Undue Seriousness, dramatic rescues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:53:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24126187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aisene/pseuds/Aisene
Summary: You are excited for your very first birthday party.  You’ve never played paintball before, but your new family is taking you for your eighth birthday.“How about a little friendly competition?” Undyne asks with a feral grin.You are both excited and nervous.(You should have been more nervous.)
Relationships: Alphys/Undyne (Undertale), Papyrus & Sans (Undertale)
Series: Sunrise [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1740865
Comments: 17
Kudos: 99





	1. Chapter 1

You are excited for your very first birthday party. You’ve never played paintball before, but your new family is taking you for your eighth birthday. Mom planned everything, and the fact that she even invited Dad is proof that this is going to be a special day. Sure she forced Dad into menial labor rather than actually treating him like a guest, but you don’t care! For them that’s progress!

Partygoers arrive – Mom knows you enough to invite only your best friends and not _all_ of your friends, because there are a lot of monsters in the Overground that you consider friends, but to invite all of them would be overwhelming. No, this party is you, Mom, Dad, Sans, Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, and Mettaton. You’d invited Flowey but doubted he’d come. 

As you all eat pizza (“YOU _PURCHASED_ PIZZA? I WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY TO SUPPLY THE FOOD FOR THIS PARTY!” “No need, Papyrus, thank you…”), Papyrus happily asks who’s going to play paintball. Mom and Dad say no but that they’ll enjoy watching. Undyne, Papyrus, Sans, Alphys and you agree to play. Mettaton is fashionably late.

“How about a little _friendly competition?_ ” Undyne asks with a feral grin. 

You know Undyne. She does friendly, she does competition, but she does not do those things together. Papyrus and Alphys visibly share your sentiment, but surprisingly Sans then says, “team battle sounds fun.”

Undyne clenches her fists in excitement. “YES! That’s the spirit! Me and Alphys versus you and Papyrus! Frisk, it’s your birthday so you can pick your team!”

Oh geez, how are you supposed to choose? You are friends with both teams, and both Alphys and Papyrus are sensitive enough to be hurt if you don’t pick them. Thankfully Alphys lights up and waves to someone coming in. “Mettaton, y-you’re right on time!” You’re proud of Alphys; she still has a stutter, both because of her shyness and just because she has one, but her confidence is always on the increase. The others wave to him as well.

The robot struts over, as per usual acting like he’s on a runway. You know that when he isn’t on tour or pampering himself, he’s binge-watching _Top Model_. “Happy birthday Frisk my darling!” he croons, smooching your forehead with cold metal lips. “At first, I was a little horrified at such a gauche location but then I heard you’d never been here before and, well, it’s… not… all about me. Today.” He doesn’t sound convinced, but you smile anyway.

“We’re doing a team battle!” Undyne exclaims, “You me and Alphys versus Papyrus Sans and Frisk! Paintball _TO THE DEATH!”_

“NO!” yells everyone back as one, and you are impressed.

“To first blood!” she amends.

“NO!” Papyrus protests.

“Well we can’t do it to first _hit!_ That’s super boring!”

“BUT TOO MUCH IS INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS FOR… CERTAIN MEMBERS OF OUR PARTY!”

Curious now, you CHECK him. His stats, like most monsters’, have gone up since their freedom was gained. 

**_* PAPYRUS 30 ATK 50 DEF_ **

**_1700_ ** **_HP_ **

**_* THIS IS SO WONDERFUL AND THE BEST DAY EVER BUT HE IS NOW VERY WORRIED ABOUT HIS BROTHER!!_ **

Then you realize you’ve never CHECKED Sans, since you never fought him.

**_* sans 2 atk 2 def_ **

**_10 HP_ **

**_* he’s gonna have a good time_ **

You had no idea Sans’ stats were that bad! No wonder Papyrus is worried, now you are too! Would a paintball kill him? 

  
(Later, Sans would tell you that sometimes those stats were a whopping _1_ , “dependent on the circumstances.” You can read between the lines though, and know the circumstances were whether or not Papyrus was still alive. (The relationship between the two was one of the cutest things ever.) You hated the other versions of you that occasionally came up in conversations. You wouldn’t ever hurt any of these people, and you hadn’t.)

Not that yours are much better…

**_* Frisk 0 ATK 15 DEF_ **

**_20 HP_ **

**_* Happy birthday to you!_ **

But Sans is clearly amused at something. “to unconsciousness should be fine. how about a little wager, between buddies?”

Everyone looks at him now. Undyne is vibrating with excitement. “F --- Sans I have never liked you more than this moment! If we win, you join me and Papyrus for early morning training for a week!”

“cool,” he says. This is getting stranger and stranger… 

Undyne seems to agree. “And, and you can’t make _any jokes the whole time!”_

Alphys, Papyrus and you all gasp in horror. Mettaton probably doesn’t know Sans enough to realize what a horrible punishment that is. Sans is still chill. 

This is clearly not the reaction that Undyne is hoping for. “And… and… and you _have to put the sock in your sock drawer. And **keep it there.”**_

You might be seeing things, but you swear you can see his left eye light up for a split second even as the others gasp again. Even Mettaton this time. 

You remember when everyone first moved into their new homes; Sans and Papyrus’ place had been spotless and perfect until Sans placed the same sock (albeit having been cleaned) in the corresponding spot by the television, sending poor Papyrus into an impressive fit of both hilarious laughter and absolute horror. You had thought you might need to call an ambulance. 

But if you did see Sans go into serious mode, it’s over already. “okay… and if _we_ win, you have to tell Papyrus the _real_ reason you never let him in the royal guard… and announce to the world that you made a mistake refusing him.”

There are more horrified gasps, although this time Papyrus’ gasp is one of shock and delight. You know why Undyne never let Papyrus into the Royal Guard, and you’re not sure if he would be happier knowing her reasons. But you _know_ Undyne admitting her faults to the world will _definitely_ not fly with her.

Alphys is about to speak up, likely to revoke any wagers, but Undyne beats her to the punch. _“YOU’RE ON, NERD!”_ She laughs her signature cackle. 

“We need team names!” Mettaton speaks up. “I was thinking, Team Drama!” He throws his hair back. You must admit it’s appropriate – all three of them are dramatic in their own, very different, ways. Even Undyne and Alphys don’t argue.

“Well, since the team is us and the kid… How about Team Spare Ribs?” Sans winks at you, and you groan. 

“ONCE WE GET WHAT WE NEED, WE GET TEN MINUTES TO PLAN FIRST!” Papyrus exclaims, and he drags his brother into the arena. You can tell he’s nervous because he didn’t even chastise Sans for calling you spare. You follow, both excited and nervous too.

(You should have been more nervous.)

* * *

“no throwin’ the fight out of spite for the sock,” Sans jokes as you have your team huddle. You’re all decked out in team vests and carrying probably too many guns. You also have headsets that let you communicate with your team, which is really cool. In the corner is a stockpile of additional bullets. Your paint color is blue, as are the dim lights on your vests, and you find it nice to not be forced to use red all the time.

“ _SANS!_ I WOULD NEVER! THE GREAT PAPYRUS NEVER LOSES, NOT EVEN ON PURPOSE!” Papyrus strikes a pose before calming himself. He starts to mess with his fingers. “Besides… your counter wager is far more appealing… Thank you, brother. You didn’t have to.”

Sans grins – although to be fair, he’s always grinning. “I did. I can’t wait to see her tell you the truth. anyway, you wanted to plan?”

“RIGHT! THIS WILL NOT BE EASY, BUT I BELIEVE WE CAN SUCCEED! OUR TEAMS ARE VERY BALANCED! OF COURSE WE HAVE THE POWERFUL AND CHARISMATIC LEADER IN MYSELF AND UNDYNE! AND THERE IS THE SHORT BUT INTELLIGENT ONE THAT WILL BE OVERLOOKED, IN SANS AND ALPHYS! AND THEN WE HAVE… er…” He looks at you. “Um… you and Mettaton both have hair?”

You are not sure if you are pleased or offended that he can’t come up with any other ways that you and Mettaton are foils. You are both great dancers, but you are not so high maintenance. 

“I have a better idea,” Sans interjects. “me and undyne are the leaders, the kid and alphys are the short and easily-overlooked ones, and you and Mettaton are both tall and… excitable.”

Papyrus pouts and stomps his foot. “ _SANS!_ I’M CLEARLY THE UNDYNE! YOU CAN’T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME!”

“heh, sure, Paps. well the kid here is an expert on dodging, so if we had to pick between frisk and mettaton, definitely happy to have frisk.”

You blush with the praise. You are, after all, the reigning Underground Dodge Champion. 

Papyrus beams at you. “THIS IS VERY TRUE, FRISK! I AM A GREAT HERO, SANS IS SHORT AND DIFFICULT TO HIT, AND YOU ARE QUITE EXCELLENT AT DODGING! IT’S HOW WE BECAME FRIENDS, AFTER ALL!” Then he pauses. “OH, BUT I WANT TO WARN YOU. IT IS HIGHLY LIKELY, ALMOST GUARANTEED, THAT SEEING ME IN SUCH A SITUATION WHERE I AM IN MY ELEMENT WILL MAKE YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH ME AGAIN. PLEASE TRY YOUR BEST NOT TO, ALTHOUGH I IMAGINE IT WILL BE DIFFICULT!”

You sigh, because you never fell in love with him in the first place. You just turned eight! You only flirted with him because he was kicking your booty six ways from Sunday at the time. You were only the reigning Underground Dodge Champion the _second_ time you went through. The first time was kind of embarrassing and you missed a lot, and the second time you freed all the monsters and got a happy ending.

Anyway, you nod your agreement. You’ll try your best.

Papyrus gets nervous again and looks to Sans. “Um, are you sure you’ll be okay?”

“hey kid, why don’t you go do recon?” Sans asks. “be quiet and careful and sneak over, see if you can hear anything.” 

You get the hint, he wants them to talk alone, so you nod and sneak off. The arena is large and dark, filled with fog and dimly lit. It’s a maze even in the light, making it perfect for paintball. It kind of reminds you of Waterfall, so you’re sure none of your friends are overwhelmed.

“Wait a minute, why am I the _Sans_?” you can hear Mettaton ask with great consternation. You follow his voice to find Team Drama in their own group huddle. The lights on their vests are green, so they’ve probably got green paint too. “That is offensive!”

“Because you’re both super weenies!” Undyne laughs.

As the two argue and Alphys giggles, you decide to CHECK all of them too, just to see how even these teams are.

**_* Undyne 55 ATK 30 DEF_ **

**_2000 HP_ **

**_* She’s planning her VICTORY SPEECH! IN YOUR STUPID SMILEY FACE, SANS!_ **

Yep, that’s about right. All of it. Especially how her very SOUL is rebelling against this bet.

**_* Alphys 10 ATK 8 DEF_ **

**_250 HP_ **

**_* As long as she’s not the first one out, she’ll be happy._ **

Poor Alphys. At least her stats are better than Sans’, but yeah, she’s going to be the first one out.

**_* Mettaton 47 ATK 47 DEF_ **

**_1600 HP_ **

**_* “I do my hair toss, check my nails – baby how you feelin? Feelin gooood as heeeeell!” Damn it! This is not one of his songs! It should not be stuck in his head! And the lighting in here is so unflattering! And this place! It’s just as misty and confusing as the CORE! He will tolerate this for his friends, but he is not going to have his birthday party here, no sir. And when this is all done, he is going to buy this place and renovate it!_ **

None of that is surprising either, not even that his stats are the same; after all, he probably stopped any fighting practice once he came Overground. And now that song is going to be stuck in your head, too. 

You check the timer next, and see there’s only a few more minutes until the battle starts. Undyne and Mettaton are still arguing over who is who, so you sneak back to find your teammates and tell them what you saw. 

“mettaton should be honored to be me,” Sans says with a lazy smile. 

Papyrus is tapping his face with a gloved finger. “NOW WE NEED CODENAMES!”

  
“do we?” Sans asks.

“OF COURSE! IF WE ARE OVERHEARD COMMUNICATING OVER OUR DEVICES” he taps the piece taped to the hole that he hears through “WE CERTAINLY DON’T WANT ANYONE TO UNDERSTAND OUR COMPLEX STRATEGY TALK! HMMM… HOW ABOUT… JOKER,” he points to Sans, “RIDDLER,” to himself, “AND HUSH!” to you.

You shake your head and explain those are all Batman villains and you cannot afford to get sued.

He pouts but tries again. “AGENT CYAN, AGENT ORANGE AND AGENT RED?”

You again reject this as Agent Orange is a compound of chemical warfare and _not_ anything to do with Papyrus. 

He still pouts, as if you’re doing this on purpose. “HUMANS REALLY ARE WEIRD… WOULD IT BE ALL RIGHT IF WE JUST WENT WITH THE COLORS?” You nod; that should be fine, even if you’re sad at again being saddled with red.

“can i be yellow instead?” Sans asks, and you are about 90% sure he’s just being difficult.

A loud buzzer goes off. 


	2. Chapter 2

Papyrus begins to glow but then shuts it down. Sans’ expression is unreadable. You hold your gun and try to quell your nerves. You’ve been hunted by Undyne before, but last time she was wearing loud plate-mail armor… and she’d _still_ been able to out-sprint you. Plus you beat Mettaton on Underground-equivalent national television. They’re probably going to target you first! 

You steel yourself. Fear has never stopped you before, and you know the way to handle it is to face it head-on.

The three of you split up, but you can hear Sans’ voice in your ear through the comm. “our first target has to be mettaton,” he says, voice serious but soothing in its confidence, “undyne’s the brawn and alphys’ the brains, so they’ll assume they’re our priority.”

You go around a corner with your gun drawn, prepared to shoot if you see any sign of movement. There isn’t, beyond the fog floating through the air. You think.

“Brilliant, brother!” Thankfully Papyrus has managed to tone his voice down somewhat. “Unless, of course, they know we will know their plan and then plan to set a trap to protect him?”

“i doubt it, because both mettaton and undyne are overprotective of alphys and she’s their physically weakest member. if they think too hard they’ll decide we’ll go for undyne because alphys is obvious.”

“But then won’t they assume we would-”

“Paps. trust me.”

You hear Papyrus giggle. “Okay. Sorry! But now I’m Orange, don’t forget!! Oh! We never came up with code names for the other team!”

You tell them what you remember about the colors your soul changed when dealing with them – Mettaton yellow and Undyne green. You never fought Alphys but she was the one who gave you the ability to turn your soul yellow.

“See, S – Cyan? That’s why you’re Cyan and not Yellow!” Papyrus sounds very smug. “AHHH! CODE GREEN CODE GREEN!” You hear gunshots.

“Get out of there!” Sans snarls into the headset. Your heartbeat quickens. 

“NO, I CAN GET HER-”

“Orange! Evasive maneuvers, keep her on you but don’t get hit!”

You debate on going to help, but surely Papyrus can handle it? You can hear Undyne laughing even from here. But you would complicate things. Papyrus can take care of himself, and if he can’t, Sans will help too. If he can? What _can_ Sans do?

You get an answer to that very shortly, when your soul turns blue. Has he always been able to do that?

“hey kid,” you hear Sans whisper, both in the headset and in real life because he is somehow right next to you, “mettaton’s ahead, in the left passage. undyne and alphys are distracted by papyrus. you and i are gonna take him out.” 

You feel your feet leave the floor and you are literally floating to the ceiling. _Your feet are on the ceiling, what the what??_

Sans is still on the ground, and you can barely see him through the fog as he crouches low. “i’ll block his escape, you go for a headshot.”

Part of you knows you should be used to being surprised by the monsters, that they all have a number of skills and abilities that you obviously wouldn’t know about. Still, you’re walking on the ceiling! You take a moment to compose yourself as Sans slinks forward, and with a wave of his hand a set of tall blue bones blocks Mettaton’s escape from the hallway. You remember – you can’t move through blue, so, they have to move through you. And since they’re stationary, he’s stuck.

Despite this, the ghost-robot (gobot?) flounces his hair and checks his nails disinterestedly. He laughs aristocratically. “I see my magnificence has brought an admirer! Which one are you? I can’t see you, although I _know_ you can see me!”

Sans opens fire as his answer, and true to form Mettaton dances out of the way of the paint headed towards him. “You’ll have to try harder than that, darling! And aim up! I can tell you must be the sloppy brother since you almost hit my ankles, short-stuff!” He shoots back in Sans’ general direction, but you can’t tell if he’s hit or not. Since you’re still on the ceiling, probably not. 

You sneak above Mettaton, who for obvious reasons does not see you coming; you’re quite a ways above him for one, disguised by the fog and darkness regardless, and he is focused trying to find Sans. 

You feel guilty, but you aim your largest guns and open fire on the back of his head.

It takes a _lot_ of bullets to take him down, and Sans starts shooting too. Mettaton fires off a few shots but in the end, he succumbs to your onslaught, falling to the ground. His vest lights go off. 

Sans waves a hand and you land on your feet, sharing a high-five with him. Alphys will be happy to not be the first one out! “Hang on, i’m gonna take him back to the lobby to get patched up. i know a shortcut.” He places a hand on Mettaton’s blue-paint-saturated shoulder and disappears.

Undyne’s loud voice, filled with rage, can be heard swearing throughout the labyrinth. She clearly knows Mettaton is out, but how? Then you notice that there are actually three lights on your vest. This likely represents the three members of your team. So Papyrus is still in.

He confirms this a second later, over the intercom. “WOWIE! SHE IS _MAD!_ HOPEFULLY LADY ASGORE DOESN’T HEAR HER BECAUSE THAT IS _EASILY_ TWENTY GOLD PIECES IN THE SWEAR JAR!”

“heh, she heard.” Sans is suddenly standing by you and you once again can hear him out loud and in your ear. “nice job distracting them, Paps.”

“ORANGE! BUT THANK YOU!”

“Orange, sure. red and I need to restock.” He nods at you, and you nod back. It took a _lot_ of firepower to take out Mettaton; you might have enough for Alphys if all your shots land, but no guarantees. “stealth voice. did you get hit at all?”

“Oh, sorry. Yes, but not much! I am unaware if I successfully retaliated, though, due to the fog! Regardless this was excellent work, Team Spare R — _SANS!_ I just figured out you are saying that we are skeletons and therefore ribs, and poor Frisk is extra and therefore spare! Spare Ribs! That’s so rude, and an awful pun besides!”

He might be in serious mode, but Sans still snickers as you backtrack to find your supply cache. “who are these sans and frisk you speak of?”

You giggle as Papyrus makes a loud noise of pure frustration over the headset. “I DEMAND WE CHANGE OUR TEAM NAME!” By the end of this day you might be deaf, but you don’t mind.

“How about ‘gaster masters’? Or ‘megalotrousle?’”

“Ahem! When did we adopt Frisk?!?”

“ point… ‘frisky fonts’?”

As they debate the new name, you hear a strange noise, like something scraping on the floor. It was quiet, like an accident. You try to think – could it have been Undyne? Or – oh! Alphys! It was likely her tail! If she was close enough to hear, could you take her out now? Your aim would have to be good….

You can trust Papyrus to tank hits, but you’re unsure he’s ruthless enough to knock anyone out. On the flip side, Sans might be a little too ruthless, but if he gets hit even once he’ll probably have to go to the hospital. He might be too much for poor Alphys, and Papyrus might not even try with her. You know you will have that perfect balance. 

You follow your ears, tuning out party banter to track Alphys. Now that you’re focusing, you can hear her humming… something familiar? Oh, that’s “Spear of Justice.” Awww. Alphys and Undyne are just as cute as Sans and Papyrus.

Wait a second.

You throw yourself to the ground, narrowly avoiding _a spear._ The energy construct impales the wall before dissipating. You hear Undyne laugh, and you realize you’ve been tricked.

“Undyne!” Alphys chastises. You can see her now, and she’s still smiling even if she’s trying to look stern. “It’s just Frisk, n-n-no need for spears!”

You duck into the next hallway over, gun up as you listen. Another spear flies past you, and you can feel your heart leap into your throat. 

“ _NGAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH_!!! YOU THOUGHT YOU GOT THE DROP ON ALPHYS, DIDN’T YOU?! BUT INSTEAD WE LURED YOU **_INTO OUR TRAP!!!”_**

You can hear your partners over the earpiece, but you’re too focused on Undyne to hear specific words. Another spear flies by. Seconds later, Alphys is directly in front of you and you realize the spears were to dispel the fog, distract you, and illuminate exactly where you were.

You fire at Alphys as she fires at you. Although you are faster and able to run before she hits you too much, you still feel the pain in your chest and shoulder, see the green paint now staining you. Fleeing Alphys means you’re running towards Undyne, and this means you’re all but going to get knocked out.

No! You refuse! 

You finally see Undyne; she has some blue paint on her but she otherwise looks completely triumphant as she aims a rifle at you. You go into your dodging headspace, focused on the way it’s pointing and how she moves it to avoid her shots. You can see how she looks impressed even as you move around the bullets, just like you’re back in the Underground.

All of a sudden you are flying through the air, in the same direction you had been running, over Undyne’s head. Your soul is blue again. You come to a landing of a sorts in the bony embrace of Papyrus, who shields you with one arm while shooting with the other. She hits him but he doesn’t react, running away with Sans at his side.

Undyne cusses you all out, but you are victorious, in a sense. All three of you are still in as you gather at your supply cache, but you check and see your HP is down to 15 and Papyrus is down to 1050.

“THAT WAS TOO CLOSE!” Papyrus exclaims. All three of you are panting even though only one of you needs to breathe. “SHE IS DEFINITELY PROVING HER METTLE!”

Sans dope-slaps you. “you seriously walked away from me in the middle of a fight?!” You explain why, but since this ended up in an ambush you feel it’s not a good excuse. Sans agrees because he moves to dope-slap you again. 

Papyrus takes his hand to stop him before smiling at you with sadness. “We’re a team, Frisk. Please trust us to have your back, as we trust you to have ours.”

You hang your head, shamed, but you nod. This is not like the Underground. You are not alone here.

Sans sighs even as he refills everyone’s bullets. “well, it wasn’t so bad, since we’re all still in. but don’t do anything so dumb again, you hear me?” You hear him and nod again. “okay, so, we have to take out alphys next, for a number of reasons. first, easier target. second, it’ll trigger undyne into becoming more sloppy and aggressive, making it easier to take her out afterwards.”

Papyrus and you nod your agreement. You explain how Undyne was using her spears to illuminate and dispel the fog to find you, which makes your teammates look at each other. “She can make souls green, which freezes them but permits them to use shields in defense,” Papyrus muses. “I can’t imagine its applicability to paintball. So I imagine she’ll continue to use the spears. Which is more than enough!”

“unless she wants to make sure you can’t run,” Sans muses. “and if alphys can turn souls yellow, that ability is more dangerous to us right now – hard enough dodging paintballs and spears, don’t need her soul throwing stuff too… so yep, alphys first.” 

Papyrus hums thoughtfully. “Well, she is very nice, but not very sturdy. If two people serve as a distraction, the third should be able to… get her.”

Both Sans and you pick up on his hesitance. “no one better than the great papyrus for getting all the attention,” Sans says, and Papyrus perks up. “frisk here is your sidekick.”

He places his hand on his chest, and although there is no wind you swear you can see his scarf moving dramatically. “BUT OF COURSE!” He grins at you. “JUST FOLLOW MY LEAD THEN! I-“

“stealth voice,” Sans fondly says again, and you will remember this for the future. Papyrus is usually best in short doses so hopefully this will help mitigate the eardrum damage.

“I know all of her tricks from our many training sessions,” he finishes with more solemnity. “Of course she also knows all my tricks. So. Perhaps… NO! THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS NO ONE’S SIDEKICK! I WILL – I will still be the hero. I just need to think outside the box.”

“you mean the ball,” says Sans, earning a good-natured glare from his brother. He stands up, cracking his joints. “i’ll keep a lookout. you two brainstorm.” 

You and Papyrus put your skulls together to plan.


	3. Chapter 3

It takes you awhile, but you eventually come up with a plan. It’s not a good one. You’re going to go in guns blazing while Sans sneaks around. You’d both eventually concluded that acting in any other way would clue the other team into suspecting a trap. You feel like you need more, but Papyrus overrules you and he’s in charge. For some reason. Probably height. 

Papyrus wants to change the team name still, but no one can come up with a suitable alternative. Sans jokingly suggests “paintballs to the walls” and neither you nor Papyrus are impressed. Papyrus attempts to call you “TEAM PAPYRUS AND THE PAPYRUSETTES” but then admits it just doesn’t flow right. You would rather be a spare rib than a papyrusette. 

You also don’t want to be Red anymore, but before you can debate on new code names you hear Undyne yell in great frustration, “ _Oh my God would you nerds just come out and fight already?!”_

You spring into action, guns at the ready. Papyrus grabs all of the bigger weapons since you can’t pick them up and they’re too unwieldy for Sans. Soul literally glowing with bravery (Sans is right - he’s so cool), he leads the charge down the hallway and you follow.

You are surprised to see Undyne standing in a small clearing, completely out in the open. You take the bait and shoot, but she turns her soul green and a shield appears in front of her, absorbing your paintballs effortlessly. It also frees her up to shoot back at you without worry. 

“Should have thought of that,” Papyrus mutters over the headset. Okay in retrospect that does seem obvious. 

You duck off to the side as Papyrus goes the other way. You need to flank her, and hope that she can’t block both of you from opposite directions. 

It’s pretty clear though that Undyne is having a fun time. “C’MON PAPYRUS!” she yells with glee, “JOIN MY TEAM INSTEAD AND FINALLY HAVE A CLEAN FLOOR!” She laughs even as she continues to exchange fire with him. 

“NEVER! NO MATTER HOW TEMPTING THE OFFER, THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS NO TRAITOR!”

“THEN STAND STILL AND LET ME SHOOT YOU!”

“THAT WOULD BE COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE!”

You finally judge that you’re in a perfect position, so you shoot at her. She effortlessly blocks your bullets with a shield before returning fire with her machine gun. You dodge back behind a wall. 

You’re hit in the back and it hurts, knocking your HP to dangerously low levels. You spin and are surprised to see Alphys, although you shouldn’t be. Of course she would be sneaking while Undyne distracted you! 

But her moment of triumph is short lived, and you watch as she collapses. Sans snuck up on her while she was sneaking up on him. You quietly thank him through the headset. 

“Babe!” Undyne runs over, although Sans disappears with Alphys. She swears, and then spots you.

You know that look. That is her “I’m gonna kick your booty” look. A spear materializes her hands. You run.

Undyne is pissed, and she pursues you quickly and relentlessly. Despite your frequent dodging into other passageways, she keeps up with you and continues firing. 

This is bad. This is really bad. This is really really bad -

You slide to a halt you realize you are in a dead end. You turn around, and – there’s _two_ people there. 

“I take no joy in this,” the second large figure – a man - says with great solemnity, and it hits you what’s just happened. Alphys and Mettaton might be out, but Team Drama got a new member. 

Dad. No, not Dad, not now. Asgore.

**_* Asgore 60 ATK 60 DEF_ **

**_3000 HP_ **

**_* There is no mercy in paintball._ **

(Why are his stats _lower?_ … probably all of those Mom-administered verbal beatdowns.)

Both Undyne and Asgore open fire on you, and there is no way you can escape this! You hide your face, prepared for the end. You can hear their guns begin blasting.

But the hits never come. At least, not on _you_.

“ ** _Papyrus no!!”_**

****

You glance up and gasp to see Papyrus between you and the enemy, taking all the shots meant for you. His body jerks with each impact. You see Sans’ panicked expression as he runs over, waving his hand and filling the area with magic.

The three of you end up in a secluded corner. One of Sans’ shortcuts. Papyrus collapses, caught by his older brother and eased to the floor.

“ ** _You idiot!_** ” Sans yells, his left eye glowing with power, and you nod in agreement. This team needs Papyrus!

Papyrus is barely breathing, lingering on the threshold of alertness, but he manages to take Sans’ hand in his. “Promise me…” he manages to hoarsely get out, “promise me you won’t… you won’t let the despair consume you.”

Sans’ eyeholes are wide, the anger gone, as he squeezes back. “Don’t talk like that, Papyrus! Stay with me!”

You cover your mouth as you watch Papyrus valiantly fight unconsciousness. “Human… Frisk… protect my… brother… S… Sans… Promise… me… you’ll fight… on… I… believe in…”

He faints. The lights on his vest dim, as do one on yours and Sans’. 

He’s out.

Sans hangs his head for a few moments before wiping the paint off Papyrus’ face with his sleeve. “hang on,” he mumbles, disappearing with his brother. He reappears minutes later without him, but now he’s wearing Papyrus’ scarf. His eyelights are gone, but you know he’s looking at you. “i knew undyne would do anything to win, but i didn’t think she would _cheat_ ,” he says dully. 

You almost point out that it’s technically not cheating since the rules never said party members couldn’t be replaced. But frankly, you’re mad too. You had been winning! 

“so. fair’s fair.” He sighs. “Call in backup.”

Papyrus’ sacrifice fills you with determination.

You make the call.


	4. Chapter 4

“You must be truly desperate to come to me for help,” says Flowey as he tests the guns in his leaves. 

(How this place had a vest in his size is truly impressive. You’ll be leaving a five-star review on Yelp for that alone.). 

He’s not wrong. Losing Orange was a huge blow to Team Spare Ribs’ morale; Papyrus had your strongest offense and defense, and he was the cheer squad on top of it. But Flowey still has a sadistic streak in him and you can trust he will have no qualms shooting the other team… in fact, he would likely have no qualms shooting _your_ team, either…

“not really,” Sans says, “our other option was toriel. she won’t join a team with asgore, so we had to snap you up to keep you from joining the enemy.” You hope he’s right, because fighting Mom is the last thing you’re emotionally equipped to do today.

“So really, that’s it? I get to shoot Asgore and Undyne, and no one is going to get mad at me?” Flowey looks up at Sans. “Even you?”

“anyone on the other team is fair game,” Sans agrees, “since i’m sure they’re going to try replacing their third person too. so shoot the other team and you’re good to go. they’re green, we’re blue. and hey, tell you what. you help me avenge my bro, and everything between us is squared off. no more threats, no more watching. sounds good?”

Flowey’s face remains neutral, but then a smile slowly spreads. “Sounds good.”

He has a spotty history to be sure, but you have to trust him. You know you would be motivated to get on Sans’ good side, especially since you now know he is apparently a wizard. Flowey is afraid of Sans, so hopefully he’ll remain loyal. Plus for all his bluster, he is your best friend – he said so himself. But for good measure you remind him it’s your birthday and he was invited to the party to begin with, even if he decided to not show up until you called him for backup. He can have your portion of cake if he plays well.

He rolls his eyes and nods. “Geez Frisk, do you ever cut out the goodie two shoes bit?” No, no you do not. 

Sans regards the two of you. “okay flowey your code name is bud. now i’m debating on changing the team name to ‘team short stuff.’”

Flowey suggests “Team Vertically Challenged.” You counter with “Team Tiny Terrors.” Sans considers this before he nods at you. “accepted. team tiny terrors it is. now then, tactics wise, our focus is gonna be undyne still ‘cuz asgore means no toriel. no matter who else she gets it won’t be as bad as that. hopefully. anyway, frisk you’re in charge of the front lines, i’ll sneak around and get ‘em from behind.”

You and Flowey both nod. You’re happy that Flowey is deferring to you, although this is very anxiety-inducing. You CHECK him.

_*** Flowey 15 ATK 15 DEF** _

_**200 HP** _

_*** Finding a balance between “this is dumb and everyone here is dumb” and “THIS IS JUST LIKE FORTNITE AND THE BEST DAY OF HIS LIFE” is going to be hard.** _

Huh, respectable. Granted, the three of you are really, truly outgunned here… pun unintended, because guns are the one way you are not outclassed. But you, Flowey and Sans do not add up to one Undyne, let alone Undyne and Asgore together. But you have to try, you have no choice. 

You nod to Flowey and the two of you move out. You hear guns fire in the distance, which is confusing. Sans must have gone ahead fast. Then there is a very loud whine. 

Huh.

You go into the darkness and the fog, feeling a sense of dread. That whine was very familiar, but surely, even Undyne in her zeal to win would not do this horrible thing…

“This is dumb!” the whine says. “This isn’t like _real_ Call of Duty.” 

No! She did!

****

**_Jerry_**. Ugh.

“And why are we green? Green is the color of snot.” Yep, there’s Jerry. Standing in the middle of the hallway. His eyes are rolled back, as if he is so disgusted he just can’t even handle it. “Also don’t think I didn’t notice I wasn’t invited to the party. That’s so rude. I should always be invited to parties. I’m best friends with whoever’s party this is. Frank?”

Why would she stoop so low? Even if somehow Jerry gave them an advantage, siding with him just makes them lose the moral high ground immediately.

“ _SHUT UP!”_ Undyne roars from somewhere out of sight.

Flowey is grinning bigtime. “We can ditch Jerry in a much better way than just leaving him behind,” he says, and his smile is that creepy one that tells you he’s up to no good. He plants down a bazooka. 

Yeesh. Overkill. But. **_Jerry_**.

You nod and he fires off a rocket. It collides with Jerry right in the chest, exploding and drenching him in blue paint even as it sends him flying into the wall. You don’t feel guilty at all. 

A group of fireballs made of paint fly by, some hitting you and some hitting Flowey as they dance around the guns. Crud, you were distracted by Jerry, and Asgore moved in! 

He’s like a giant wall of paint-absorption. You’re emptying your clips into him and he’s just standing there like it doesn’t bother him at all. Flowey sets up his bazooka again and fires, hitting Asgore point-blank. He is implacable, continuing to walk toward you with guns blazing. 

Flowey breaks first, disappearing into the ground. With his guns? Somehow? How does Flowey even _work_. 

You look up and watch Asgore as you continue to shoot, debating on what to do. “I’m sorry, my child,” he says. You apologize too.

And then you run, because you remember the last time you fought Asgore. You died. A _lot_.

He doesn’t pursue you, thankfully. You find Sans and Flowey with the bullets again. “I hit him with a rocket and he didn’t even flinch!” Flowey says, panicked. “Man he’s tough!”

“he’s a boss monster,” Sans points out as he reloads. He looks exhausted now but he is still devoid of any paint. “undyne’s almost out though, i got her good a couple of times. what was she yellin’ about anyway?”

“ ** _Jerry._ ”**

Sans grimaces, which is impressive considering his face is somehow always smiling. “ugh, no wonder she was so… energetic. okay. proves me right that they can’t get tori. hm. didja ditch jerry?”

“With a rocket launcher!” Flowey croons. 

Sans nods. “good job. okay, frisk, go do some more recon, yeah? i gotta take a break.”

This is the longest you’ve seen Sans awake, so you’re not surprised. You nod and go off into the fog. It’s easy to find them, because Undyne is clearly having a rough time. Her HP is at 740, his is at 1000.

“Okay! Seriously! How the heck is _SANS_ so _TOUGH?”_ Undyne demands, head in her hands. “Why can’t _I HIT HIM?”_

“He’s the Judge,” Asgore points out, smiling. The what?

“The what?”

“The Judge. He sees sins.”

“… _The WHAT?!”_

Asgore laughs. “Think of him as a LOVE-punisher. The higher one’s LOVE is, the more effective Sans is. So unfortunately for _you_ , the angrier you get, the more he’s able to… as he would put it… dunk on you.”

“ _WHY WOULD YOU HIRE HIM, HE SELLS HOTDOGS, WHAT THE ACTUAL F-“_

_“_ Swear jar.”

“Da – dang it! So – so basically we’re screwed! No wonder he was so confident! Everyone has LOVE except for Frisk and Papyrus and Toriel!”

Asgore laughs again, this time tinged with bitterness. “Oh Toriel has plenty of LOVE… for me.”

Undyne sobers. “Yeeaaaah. True. So uh… Well, I’m not giving up! I just… I just need to think.”

You come back to find Sans and Flowey, with a new appreciation for Sans. Yep, it definitely makes sense now he was so calm when the challenge was initially presented. Although really, who hired him for _any_ of his jobs? 

You come back. Sans and Flowey don’t look terribly optimistic, even after you tell them what you overheard.

“That explains so much,” Flowey muses quietly.

“ _she_ hired me,” Sans comments with a little laugh. “but hey… kids… any ideas?”

You consider it. All of you are injured, tired and/or hungry. You’re down to 10 HP, and Flowey is down to 50. Sans still has his 10. But you have a combined 70, against their combined 1,740…

Flowey looks at both of you, serious. 

“Burn it,” says Flowey. “Burn it all to the ground.”


	5. Chapter 5

What?! That’s not – no, surely he’s not serious, so it’s okay – you – he –

“go on,” says Sans.

Oh no, oh no oh no oh no

Flowey gestures to the stockpile of ammunition you still have left. “Set up paint bombs across the facility and detonate them all at the same time… once we’ve snuck out, of course.”

You know Flowey comes by his apparent pyromania honestly, but that is also a secret to everyone else. You have a few choice words that you can’t use because there is a swear jar and you’re not paid an allowance. 

Sans is nodding in a way that shows _he agrees with Flowey_. “sounds great, as a last resort… which we’re coming up to. we’re running out of time. after all this, i’m deter – nope, bad word choice. i _refuse_ to lose. so. flowey, you’re on set-up duty. i’m gonna take out undyne, no more mr. nice skeleton.” He looks to you. ”kiddo, you’re going to be a grand distraction. get their attention.”

You take a deep breath. Things are happening. The end is coming. You need to do your part. You nod at your partners, and you all split up.

You go off into the darkness of the maze, your heart racing. You try to imagine some grand heroic dramatic song to fit the mood, but the best comes from video games and Mom doesn’t let you play those yet. Which is completely unfair, because _Flowey_ gets to play _all the time._

Anyway. 

The maze is, of course, still dark and foggy. And it’s suspiciously quiet. You train your ears to listen for something, anything; but, there is nothing. 

Huh.

You look around and note that there is no paint anywhere, no evidence at all of the epic battles that have been taking place in this arena. Either the paint is magic, the cleanup crew is above and beyond, or… you’re lost.

Uh oh.

So much for you being a grand distraction…

* * *

You continue to seek out signs of life, lost in this never-ending maze. Just you, your guns, and your pseudo-imaginary friend (Hi!). How long have you been here, roaming these tangled halls? Your stomach growls, as if to taunt you. You’ve surely missed cake, just judging from how long you’ve walked around here. Will anybody seek you out? Or are you destined to die here?

Ironic, isn’t it? The Hero of the Underground, dying lost in a paintball maze…

* * *

You hear something, and you feel a strong sense of relief. Shots fired in the distance. You run, ready to go, ready to step up. 

You slide to a halt when what looks to be six draconic skulls appear out of nowhere and fire at Undyne, hitting her with unrelenting beams of pure blue paint. Her shields go up but collapse quickly, and she herself falls to the ground not long after.

What the – what? _What?_ When did Sans get laser beams? You say a silent prayer of thanks to whatever deity is listening that you never fought him. 

Sans relaxes, although he looks pained. You’re about to call out to him, but he gasps and looks up. “Pa- Papyrus? you’re okay?” he stammers.

You can see now Papyrus approach him, both hands up in a supplicating gesture. “Yes, brother. Everything is now fine. You won. You can come with me. It’s time for cake.”

Sweet! Apparently you didn’t roam the halls for that long…

Sans shakes his head. “nope, asgore is still out there. all the team needs to be taken out. you… you need to go to safety. unless you’re on their team now?” The words indicate anger, but he’s exhausted and the tone doesn’t match. 

He sighs. “I am not so fickle! But, I knew this would happen.” He gives his brother a winning smile. “Sans, my dear brother, it’s okay. You don’t have to fight anymore. _You avenged me_.”

You’re shocked to see Sans break down into tears, collapsing to his knees. Papyrus moves forward to embrace him and they kneel there together, Sans sobbing while Papyrus coos praises. You kind of get why Alphys ships them, now. 

But you have to stop this cute moment, because Sans has a point – Undyne might be out ( _laser beams?? Really???_ You’re almost offended on her behalf _)_ but the fight isn’t over until all of Team Drama is taken out. That means Asgore, too. And anyone else they have. You move forward, and then –

The building explodes.

* * *

You are in an inky blackness. Probably dead, let’s be honest, because that was a major explosion. So this dark expanse is Hell, and we’re stuck in it together. Why am _I_ here? Just because in some alternate timelines losing my soul made me go a little crazy? That didn’t happen to _us_. I don’t know what nonsense you’ve gotten up to before we met, but _I_ should not be in hell!

Okay okay fine, I’ll calm down. You need to calm down too, though. If we’re not dead, then where are we? 

You look around and see… well, it’s kind of a face. It has a smile, and eyes, and it’s kind of skeletal? It’s not a nice face. It’s like if Sans and Papyrus had a baby and that baby was creepy as fuck. Hey, I’m allowed to swear, Mom can’t make _me_ put anything in the swear jar. 

Anyway, you see this face. It is floating in the abyss, staring at you. Your instincts are present and trying to tell you something, to run or hide, but this place is so off-putting you really can’t. The face floats closer to you, and you have to accept that this is your fate. Death by weird melty skeleton love-baby. 

A disembodied hand holds up a cell phone. On the phone is a screen that says “Special Research,” and under it is a number of times the phrase “Make 3 friends” is written, along with a line indicating two are already had. The face nods at you expectantly even as another hand swipes on the screen of the phone. With a few pokes, it triumphantly shows you another screen.

REDACTED

Your Trainer Code:

6666 6666 6666

Huh. This strange, hellish nightmare creature wants to be friends on Pokemon GO. Frisk, why is your life so weird? No it is not my fault!

Well if you can befriend sentient mold, you can befriend whatever the crap this is. You pull out your phone and wait for the game to load. When it does, you type in the numbers, sending in a friend request. The being smiles brightly at the notification on its phone, and accepts it. 

So you may be dead, but you made the void happy. You’re about to ask it to join your paintball team when you are literally blinded by light.

* * *

“Oh my sweet child, I’m so sorry you were hurt on your birthday!” Mom tuts. It takes time to adjust your eyes but when you do, you see your entire party is now sitting in rubble. You are wrapped in a blanket and there is a piece of cake on a plate next to you, situated on a stray piece of concrete. “Needless to say, Flowey is grounded.”

“he’s a flower, he’s always _grounded_ ,” Sans has to say. If you were more with it, you would point out _he’s digging himself deeper_ with his stupid jokes, but, you’re cozy.

“Pft, I get it,” Flowey says. “Not sorry. Victorious.” 

“And Mettaton is buying the place,” she continues, and you can see the robot talking with some very disgruntled looking people, “so you needn’t fret. No one died. Not thanks to any of _you…_ ” She glares at Dad, but also at Undyne and Sans. Dad is the only one who looks penitent.

“no regrets,” says Sans. Toriel’s glare turns slightly more pointed, and he amends, “okay okay, some regrets, geez.”

“I thought I would feel worse, but you know what? I got hit by laser beams of paint and then the building exploded. So I’m gonna say, this turned out pretty great!” Undyne grins big at you. “Best birthday ever! We can come here for mine too! If it’s… you know, here again.”

“Once I decided I was in an episode of _Trigun_ , it wasn’t scary at all!” Alphys agrees. “Although I do wish we’d have won. If – if only because it would be nice to have a co – conversation with Sans without any jokes.”

“yeah, but this really turned into a _tyrannosaurus wreck,_ ” he jokes in return. The dinosaur monster just sighs. “buuuuut… now you have to live up to your end of the deal.”

Undyne makes a noise of disgust as she glances at Papyrus. “Do I have to?”

“yep.”

“If you want to,” Papyrus says gently. 

“nope, you gotta, you promised.” At the look his brother gives him, Sans amends, “okay, you ain’t gotta announce to the world. because asgore was still in.” He closes his eyes. “can’t wait to hear it before i take a nap.”

Undyne still looks pained as she sighs and blurts, “You’retoodamnnice!”

Mom pushes over the Swear Jar. Undyne sighs and puts in coins. It’s already full. You figure most of the money is from her.

“I’M TOO NICE?” Aw man, there goes stealth voice. “I’M TOO NICE TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD… I… I ACCEPT THIS AS THE COMPLIMENT IT IS! A ROYAL GUARD NEEDS TO BE RUDE AND CHURLISH, BUT I AM SIMPLY NOT THOSE THINGS, BEING TOO SOCIABLE AND DELIGHTFUL!” 

Undyne’s one good eye twitches. For all you know, whatever’s under the eyepatch twitches too. “Yep. Sure.”

“IT IS FINE, I WILL EMBRACE MY TRUE CALLING AS A CHEF, AND MASCOT!”

You point out it’s an election year, and on the surface most people elect their ruler. You mean it as a joke, but Papyrus lights up even more, literally glowing. “I COULD BE KING?!”

This gets Dad’s attention. He looks completely amused, unconcerned. “Ah yes, the humans and their voting system. Maybe we should try it?” You’re not sure if he’s confident he would win, or hoping he would lose, or both.

Flowey gives Papyrus a completely saccharine smile. “I would vote for you!” The grin turns malevolent, “If I wanted a total idiot running the country!”

Sans shoots Flowey in the face. 

Best. Birthday. _Ever_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably had too much fun with this one. I hope it at least made you smile!


End file.
